#402, 734 - 2nd Ave. NW,
how weird. I got your add and passes today. Our envelopes crossed in the mail...
Who is this? Hee Who?
Truman, what's wrong?
That wasn't me. That was CARL MALDEN.The voice answering for Truman in Ohio before Truman gets back to reboot his broken crap computer.
"Ross quit playing. Confusing people making them think ME is ME when it ain't ME."TRUMAN BENTLEY JR.3219 CARDEN DRIVECOSCUMBUS GEORGIA31907-2143
"I have several two episode discs of DR. ZACHERY SCHMIFF episodes of LOST IN SPACE. I shall play them at low conversation level. Several times during the night I'll put a new disc on the player. I can sleep knowing that DR. ZACHERY SCHMIFF is gonna checkmate aaaall those obnoxious aliens, THE MAJOR, and that pesky bunch of Robinsons. DR. ZACHERY SCHMIFF is WISE and BETTER than all other people in space. Everyone should honor the fabulousness that is DR. SSSSSCHMIFF!"TRUMAN BENTLEY JR.3219 CARDEN DRIVECOSCUMBUS GEORGIA31907-2143 U.S.A.
Everyone honor DR. ZACHERY SSSSCHMIFF!
"Everyone, it is night here in EASTERN STANDARD TIME. I must now put on the first two episode disc of LOST IN SPACE starring DR. ZACHERY SSSSSCHMIFF! Listen to SCHMIFF! STUDY SCHMIFF! Then. Only then, can a person BEGIN to be GGGGGGREAT!"TRUMAN BENTLEY JR.3219 CARDEN DRIVECOSCUMBUS GEORGIA31907-2143U.S.A.YOU BETTER BELIEVE IN THE POWER OF SSSSSSCHMIFF!
"If LOST IN SPACE were a reality instead of a TV show, then ONLY the ggggreat DR. ZACHERY SCHMIFFFF should have had plenty of food and drink. The Robinson family should have cried and did without. Dr. Schmiff should have been in charge of all OUTER SSSPACE!"TRUMAN BENTLEY JR.3219 CARDEN DRIVECOSCUMBUS GEORGIA31907-2143U.S.A.
"Ross. RIGHTS is a concept that should be ABOLISHED. Freedom is an idea which only applys to POWERFUL NAPOLEONS. Art is not. Let me be clear. NOT for the masses. The scrawl on a public bathroom wall might have your momma's phone number on it, but that does not put her on the COUNTRY CLUB roster or the JUNIOR LEAGUE party invite list. There are many problems in physical reality. But in the mind of the ELITE they are already resolved. Art that is not up to PAR is going to be mixed in with paste to make dry wall. The greatest joy is going to be THE ART DAY. This future world day shall be when museums are purged of non art. Ground into chiplets. Art is going to be destroyed on BRAZERS fueled with the wood from STRATIVARIS violins. All fluxus and dada art is going to go. The only DADA art left is going to be the portrait of IDA AMIN DADA from the wall of QUEEN CARLOTTA'S MORTVILLE CASTLE from the John Waters film. Remember everyone, REAL ART ISN'T ART UNTIL IT IS DESTROYED."THE WORLD'S BEST EVER OF ALL EVERYTHINGTRUMAN BENTLEY JR.3219 CARDEN DRIVECOSCUMBUS GEORGIA31907-2143U.S.A.
ANNOUNCEMENT"For years people have been lied to about PORK. Bacon and bacon grease is healthy! Don't throw away bacon grease. Use it for SAUCE. Add salt and pepper to it and pour it on your plate with the bacon. Call it "supuh sahpuh". Add some BLACK EYED PEAS to the bacon and grease slurry. Eating this rich blend daily shall make you healthy, wealthy and wise. Bacon grease makes a great drink too if you are out of orange juice. Just pour the grease warm in a glass. AH! DDDDELICIOUS!"BACON & PORK IS YUMMY!ADVOCACY GROUPTRUMAN BENTLEY JR.3219 CARDEN DRIVECOSCUMBUS GEORGIA31907-2143U.S.A.
"Just like that bird, WEEHOO poses pretending to look off at something in every photo."Mrs. Smith3rd Grade Teacher* I'm gonna slam your hand in the door again if you don't start posing different.
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