Saturday, December 06, 2014

Nothing?

Nothing will come of nothing.

100 comments:

Anonymous said...

Unless ... we turn it into something.

Anonymous said...

I love Billy Preston too!! He was fantastic in 'The Music man'!!!

Anonymous said...

Ringo was my favorite Beatle, really.

Anonymous said...

You are truly a moronic idiot of the lowest quintile, that wasn't Billy Peston that was PRESTON STURGES!

Anonymous said...

Pants are not my thang.

Anonymous said...

Nothing does not exist.

Anonymous said...

Smiling is considered a natural, often involuntary response to certain stimulating factors in the environment. But recently, scientists have observed a phenomenon in a small subset of American teenagers and post-graduate Liberal Arts majors residing in urban areas. It seems that when these anomalous individuals, whom researchers refer to as the “hipster cohort,” are presented with experimental stimulus considered “pleasant,” “joyus” and “delightful” by the control group (individuals of the same age group located in Grainfield, Kansas), this group will remain completely stoic, offering no facial indication that the stimulus is favorable in any way.

Anonymous said...

Explanations for this behavior are heavily debated. One possibility is that hipsters, having had all of their needs consistently met and exceeded by indulgent suburban parents, have nothing with which to contrast happiness. Therefore, the hipster’s baseline level of contentment is much higher than that of the average human being.

Hipsters do occasionally smile, but the act is almost always coupled with the act of swiping a major credit card through a reader when making a purchase, especially at faux-vintage clothing stores located in Brooklyn.

To some, especially self-righteous Canadian anarchists, this behavior is looked upon with extreme disdain. In the most recent issue of Adbusters magazine, Douglass Haddow cited this hipster phenomenon as evidence that hipsters are solely responsible for the decline of American Civilization.

“Less a subculture, the hipster is a consumer group – using their capital to purchase empty authenticity and rebellion,” Haddow writes.

But I don’t think the blame should fall completely on the hipster. Being part of the first generation to face the onslaught of advertisements through technologically advanced mediums, hipsters have simply done what has been asked of them by the capitalist machines past generations have failed to prevent and thus, have effectively created. The fleeting smile in response to capitalistic exchanges – and little else – is something to be expected. Moreover, the modern hipster has come to expect enjoyment from buying things like the people who typically criticize them expect fulfillment from sexual intercourse. (note: while the expectations built around sexual intercourse often exceed the actual pleasure received, the pleasure a hipster experiences from buying random crap is real and can consistently produce a euphoria that lasts hours. This act also requires smoking a cigarette immediately after exiting a location where a purchase was made.)

Additionally, researchers have concluded that the loss of facial motor function and inappropriate emotional response is merely the hipster’s way of adapting to a world in which real anguish is not commonly experienced. This is also why, the worst possible thing for a hipster to encounter is to find out that access to her constant stream of monetary parental support has been cut off until she gets a “real” job to actually earn money to feed her compulsions. This imposition, however, is too ironic for hipsters to handle for the following reason: The only way for hipsters to break out of the patterns that characterize them as such, is to join the very organizations that contributed to their awkward state in the first place: the advertising industries, the corporations, Hollywood – which are the only industries that are still functioning despite the decrepit state of the economy (besides the war profiteering industry).

Perhaps, the satisfaction a hipster gets from shopping at second-hand stores comes from the subconscious knowledge that in buying these products, they are failing to contribute to sweatshop labor and global warming, thereby chipping a minute amount of income away from Corporate America, the Dr. Frankenstein of the hipster cohort. (Note: sadly, these effects are canceled out when anyone shops at Urban Outfitters and American Apparel – 50 items must be purchased at the Salvation Army in order to karmically redeem one item purchased at Urban Outfitters.)

Anonymous said...

The burnt CLIT. Many lesbian feminists at peak frustration point during shopping quickly find a restroom stall. Secluded they expose their shaven mound and pass a BIC cigarette lighter across it several times. BLISTERED they then have the confidence to return to the mall. To shop, complain(BITCH) and socialize/ GIVING THEM A PIECE OF THEIR MIND as they call it. A reverse sublimation of their hidden wounded mound. Slippery, these EEL FISH are RIDING HIGH on endorphines. A latte or two and three hours later, THEY ARE SATISFIED. Empowered they are MAUDE or at least RHODA or a version of ANN ROMONO. Living life to the fullest, ONE DAY AT A TIME.

Anonymous said...

Sir Douglas Quintile tet.

Anonymous said...

3:15PM EST every day post new mail art on bentspoon ross priidle. otherwise it be stale.

Anonymous said...

The name of TRUMAN BENTLEY JR.s new band.

THE SIR DOUGLAS QUIN TET OFFENSIVE



Copyrighted with this posting on BENTSPOON.

Anonymous said...

every day new newsletter, TRUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

My hometown was so small.....

.....our city limits signs are both on the same post!

.....the city jail is called amoeba, it only has one cell

.....the phone book only has one page

.....the one-block-long Main Street dead ends in both directions

.....there’s nothing doing every minute

.....the zip code was a fraction

.....Second Street is in the next town over

.....there’s no place to go that you shouldn’t

.....a “Night on the Town” takes only 1 minute

.....the mayor had to annex property to eat a foot-long hot dog

.....the New Year’s baby was born in October

Anonymous said...

UPDATE: On August 24th the ninth "sour toe" was swallowed. A customer came in, ordered the infamous Sourtoe Cocktail, chugged the drink swallowing toe and all, and slammed down 500 dollars, the fine for swallowing the toe. Luckily the bar had a backup toe in waiting. The fine has since been raised to 2500$.

Anonymous said...

bit pee'd off about this as i stayed there for 2 weeks and no one said a word. Although i was very drunk all my time there. Loved the place and the people, both beautiful. But the toe thing is my kinda thing so dont know why i wasnt told? prob cuz i would of ate it and then toe number 11

Anonymous said...

This is the best sleep track I've found in hours of searching. Any way this can be made available for download on your site? I need this. I have purchased many other sleep sounds but they all seem to contain one trait or frequency that ruins them.

Anonymous said...

It sounds like a tape recorder recording nothing and then turning it up really loud.

Anonymous said...

If you get up and work uh got dan Jawb you'd be too tired to listen to shit. Hell, sleep is the rewards for work. You gots tuh work. Not draw art stupid.

Anonymous said...

Gee, that Woody Woodpecker cartoon the theater ran right after that scary movie was real brain milk and made me feel better, less likely to have nightmares tonight.

Anonymous said...

I PREFER A WHITE MALE! I GET SO EXCITED TO FIND A WHITE MALE WHO EATS PROFUSE AMOUNTS OF CRISPY CHICKEN AND BEER. ID LIKE TO GET SPANKED HARD AND FOR MY BIRTHDAY HARD

Anonymous said...

1) A penis that is wider than it is long.
2) A young man, usually white, who asserts his personality via car modifications and tattoos.
1) He's a jerk and treats me bad, but a least he doesn't have a choad.
2) He put a fucking spoiler on his car? What a choad!

Anonymous said...

The term choad is dated. The new word is CASHEW.

Anonymous said...

GOD is good. Why? Because he programmed all life to die. He-she-god also has a magnificent sense of humour.

Anonymous said...

It was during my final day of e-Hiking PCT from Mexico to Oregon that I realized that I might never actually hike this trail.

Anonymous said...

Joe: "Oh Betty, I'm coming!"
Betty: "Shoot your pearl jam all over my tits!"

Anonymous said...

Pearl Jam are fuckin Hootie and The Blowfish rip-offs who spawned about a million copycat bands where the singers baaa and mooo too.

Anonymous said...

My mother is Jewish. My father is Catholic, therefore I am a cashew.

Anonymous said...

Stop drinking coffee and tea and don't sleep all afternoon. Just walk around like a zombie til 9 pm and pass out.

Anonymous said...

You are only a cashew if your PRY-EEN-YUS is ACC-ORDAIN.

Anonymous said...

Do not say:

'God gave us this delusion'.
You dream you are the doer.
You dream that action is done,
You dream that action bears fruit.
It is your ignorance,
It is the world's delusion
That gives you these dreams.

The Lord is everywhere
And always perfect
What does he care for man's sin
Or the righteousness of man?

Anonymous said...

And THEN THERE'S MAUDE in the Land Of Gawd.

For Religion is the opiate of the non GOD MAN. For he who exalts himself above the commode, far above the rim of Skipper and Gilligan is HOWELL!

Anonymous said...

Life is a Vapour if you smoke crack.

Embrace the glory of THE FLESH. For god is the wet dream of mildewed minds. In the future religion shall be known for exactly what it is,
MENTAL ILLNESS!

Anonymous said...

I NEVER BELIEVED IN LOVE SPELLS UNTIL I CAME INTO THIS GROUP AND I MET A LADY WHO TALKED ABOUT LOVE SPELL AND I ALSO GAVE IT A TRY SHE IS REALLY POWERFUL AND COULD HELP CAST SPELLS TO BRING BACK ONE'S GONE,LOST,MISBEHAVING LOVER AND MAGIC MONEY SPELL OR SPELL FOR A GOOD JOB.I'M NOW HAPPY & A LIVING TESTIMONY COS THE MAN I HAD WANTED TO MARRY LEFT ME 2 WEEKS BEFORE OUR WEDDING AND MY LIFE WAS UPSIDE DOWN COS OUR RELATIONSHIP HAS BEEN ON FOR 2YEARS... I REALLY LOVED HIM, BUT HIS MOTHER WAS AGAINST US AND HE HAD NO GOOD PAYING JOB. SO WHEN I MET THIS SPELL CASTER, I TOLD HER WHAT HAPPENED AND EXPLAINED THE SITUATION OF THINGS TO HER..AT FIRST I WAS UNDECIDED,SKEPTICAL AND DOUBTFUL, BUT I JUST GAVE IT A TRY. AND IN 7 DAYS WHEN I RETURNED TO USA, MY FINCEE CALLED ME BY HIS SELF AND CAME TO ME APOLOGIZING THAT EVERYTHING HAD BEEN SETTLED WITH HIS MOM AND FAMILY AND HE GOT A NEW JOB INTERVIEW SO WE SHOULD GET MARRIED..I DIDN'T BELIEVE IT COS THE SPELL CASTER ONLY ASKED FOR MY NAME AND MY GIRLFRIENDS NAME AND ALL I WANTED HER TO DO... ,AND MY FIANCEE ALSO GOT THE NEW JOB AND OUR LIVES BECAME MUCH BETTER. IN CASE ANYONE NEEDS THE SPELL CASTER FOR SOME HELP, HER EMAIL ADDRESS IS HOPE SHE HELPS YOU OUT OUR OPPORTUNITY ... CONTACT THIS GREAT SPELL CASTER

Anonymous said...

I'm certain if you are reading then you knew there'd be a catch, because if I wanted to go see a movie, I can do that by myself. Not to mention, this would be in the relationships section, not the intimate encounters section. What I am looking for is a guy who'd like to have a popcorn adventure. I'm not sure if this is true or if I read about it or someone told me about it but that old trick where you cut a hole in the popcorn box so when your girl gets so far down she feels your penis and finishes you off. What I'm looking for is something similar only without the popcorn box and without the greasy ass popcorn.

Anonymous said...

I Need Some Cannabioil To Make Some Pot Brownies For My Dinner With My Stoner Friends

Anonymous said...

ASMR Haircut Roleplay (Soft Spoken, Close Up, Cutting and Washing Hair Sounds, Ear to Ear)

Anonymous said...

What you need is a FROOTRON DATE with a CFW.

Anonymous said...

ANDY WERHAWS says no ya'll mail art people are not artists, and no ya'll aren't salon selectives.

Anonymous said...

Whenever people ask me for advice, I simply apply what I've learned from Dr. Phil: I yell at them and tell them how stupid and lazy they are and how all of their problems are their fault.

Anonymous said...

SALON SELECTIVES are women ladyies of radiant all natural flow hair of beauty health. Their hair has natural shine, shimmer and glow health. Only enhanced more by the use of expensive HAIR CARE PRODUCTS of exclusiveness health. Tired old car sofa couch seats of bunion, UGLY women are like the goon women monstrosities on POPEYE THE SAILOR MAN CARTOONS untoned to the tune of HEALTH. They are like Edith Bunker. Smelling of camphor and odd cheeses. Bunion toe foots of ugly non HEALTH. These THANGS are perfect to clean and fold laundry at SWIFFIES LINEN SERVICE. One big brown sarcomer mole of ONE HAIR several on their Chernobyl bodies say HEY, IHN NOT A PASTRY. Ihn not even HEALTHY.

Anonymous said...

60 yr olds+ : "oh no. the family is coming over for lunch. i have to put up with their whingging and mess."
50 yr olds + :"christmas is so stressful - where am i going to come up with all the money for presents?!"
40 yr olds + (mid-life-crisis-era)+ :"christmas means big meals. it also means the time of year one adds more inches to thier middle"
30 yr olds + (starting-family-era)+ :" christmas is seeing the look of joy on my child face, christmas morning. its better to give than recieve"
from 20 yr old (lonely-depressive-bacholor-era)"christmas is all about santa who was invented by the coke-a-cola company to make millions of the stupid. christmas is a gimmick. its the one day a year i have to go to church"
teenagers (i-know-everything-era): "christmas is meant to celebrate the birth of Christ, its a catholic tradition shared all over the world, even though jesus' birthday isnt acctually on the 25th..."
young children every where: "i love christmas cos santa comes and gives me what ever i want, but its yucky waiting to open the presents. its ok coz i peek every year at them."
it was as if all her christmas's had come at once

Anonymous said...

Is this some casual cool apathy joo-joo motif, for some mass inclusion, or what? I try to see if it is a true statement, as matter of course, and for many relevant view points a good starting candidate for counter-example is frighteningly chilling. We don't know for per capita issues if it would rank well in some Family Fued style questionnaire, what is the most frightening counter-example to the essayed statement from the included image? However, it's still a logical first look undeniably and my example promotes inflammatory muckracking.

Anonymous said...

Want for Little, and Need for Nothing.

Let them blow their gasket trying to get your attention.

Spend your earnings on your health & friends, and not things.

Control your urges.

Know what thoughts are your own, and those that are planted into your head. Just because you have a thought, it may not be of your own making.

Don't expect immediate results, other than a peaceful mind, acceptance and a calm demeanor.

Fear, retaliation and anger are not healthy for the mind.

Anonymous said...

Affection, Anger, Angst, Anguish, Annoyance, Anxiety, Apathy, Arousal, Awe, Boredom, Confidence, Contempt, Contentment, Courage,Curiosity, Depression, Desire, Despair, Disappointment, Disgust, Distrust, Dread, Ecstasy, Embarrassment, Envy, Euphoria, Excitement, Fear, Frustration, Gratitude,Grief, Guilt, Happiness, Hatred, Hope, Horror, Hostility, Hurt, Hysteria, Indifference, Interest, Jealousy, Joy, Loathing, Loneliness, Love, Lust, Outrage, Panic, Passion, Pity, Pleasure, Pride, Rage, Regret, Relief, Remorse, Sadness, Satisfaction, Schadenfreude, Self-confidence, Shame, Shock, Shyness, Sorrow, Suffering, Surprise, Terror, Trust, Wonder, Worry, Zeal, Zest

Anonymous said...

If you are still interested in hooking up and am able to pound me for at least 2-4 hours and are over 7in cock to make me walk bow legged for a few days please send me an email and a pic thank you again

Anonymous said...

I lie awake a lot of nights and pretend I'm dreaming. If I were dreaming right now, I'd be dreaming about sitting on a beach in Hawaii. Sometimes I'm watching surfers or those stand up paddle boarders that look so fun, and sometimes I'm just breathing in the warm sunshine and thanking God I'm in paradise. Of course I can't really thank God for that, because I'm in the frozen tundra and not on a tropical beach, but dreams are dreams, especially pretend ones.
I should probably just take Tylenol pm and sleep, but I suspect my pretend dreams are better than the real dreams that I don't even remember.

Anonymous said...

Free couch, reclines on both ends. this was someone else's couch that was left here looks like it needs some deep cleaning but if you can clean it , it's a nice couch.

Anonymous said...

We view you all as 'real' people :) We appreciate you take time to comment to you :)

Anonymous said...

The gang of Ulysses Pick shoots its way into his former home, which the police have surrounded, with a hostage and a stuffed wolverine (named "Crispy") in tow. Big Ed, the gang's second-in-command, then evicts the dead gangsters (who seem otherwise alive), after asking them to identify themselves: "Those of you who have been killed, stand facing the wall." They leave reluctantly, and the gang waits for Ulysses. The film's narrator, the ghost of Ulysses's father-in-law Calypso, reveals that the house is haunted (and not only by him) because although a house's happiness is able to vacate the premises after its inhabitants have left, its sorrow is doomed to remain inside forever. This house had once belonged to Ulysses and his four children with his wife Hyacinth.

Anonymous said...

Don Horak Nice try. Now go back to your stupid Hood and keep your jargon inside there.

Anonymous said...

It ain't no prank!!! I smoke the dank!!!

Anonymous said...

Take 54th street next to Johns store across from safeway.....take a right on A st. Then your First right.....second complex on your right....frootron is under the carport. We got it free awhile back... but now we r moving. It's uncomfortable...needs spring reattached...we were going to put stuffing in if we kept it..the back is good and firm but the other needs some cushion. Easy fixes. And better than nothing if u need seating...good garage...porch.....type seating. Text only. Will delete when gone.

Anonymous said...

Gracias a su testimonio de deconversión, otras personas salieron del armario como ateos.

Anonymous said...

Chavs are for the most part, extremely stupid. However, some of them render a form of low cunning, which can be misinterpreted as intelligence. However this is false. A Chav has no desire to better themself through honest means nor learn anything outside of car modification.

Anonymous said...

What is painting for? Smith’s answer stops a winsome step short of nihilism: something more or less lively to hang on a wall.

Anonymous said...

Painting is to make Paintings to sell to SCHMUCKS in art gallerys all over the wwwwworle!

Anonymous said...

I dont want anybody to know anything about me, except for God, who I want to help guide me into the right thing. This comes down to sexual stuff, and it either upsets people or offends people.

I like my ex wife, because of her large butt. She was Chinese, and had the large butt. I am looking for this in my future too. I just want it to be big, and its because I need this in order to achieve sexual things Im trying to accomlish. I knew my ex wife was a rare breed. Thats why I got so into it. I remember her specifically for this reason. I also remember the Egyptian lady with the nice butt as well, and I want that. Although she was used for the specific reason of harassing me.

But I like boobs too. Like the lady at the picture factory. There is another one I know from the bar, and I love her boobs. I want those as well. Am I asking for too much? I want best of both worlds. I also like hands that are small, and Ive been getting into other parts of the body as well, such as the tummy and the feet.

I think Im asking for the impossible. I am a raging alcoholic, and I live off my disability checks. I wonder if I should just settle for less. But I dont want to. I liked the ex wife, and am trying to take a step above her. With what I have in mind, I will. She just needs to have a large butt. And some nice boobs. And her hands have to be small, and I want her to have a nice tummy. Plus her lips should be nice, and she should have little feet for me.

I have just lost it. On the internet. Im still gonna say it. I hope she has a small thing inside of her that my little penis goes into. But I hope she is cool. I said too much, and Im gonna say it anyways. I need some butt. It has to be big too. And I need her boobs too. I think I need something that doesnt exist. Damnnit.

Anonymous said...

Studies have shown that in places where a city ordinance prohibits engineers from blowing their horns
so why in the hell are you blowing it in the middle of the night People in this town are try to Sleep
You have a the hole dam day fuck up the traffic and not screw with or sleep
The horns have to be loud so you can hear them half way across town you moron
It can be annoying to some people at night, turn the volume down

Anonymous said...

Fartners is a social network where people can share farts with friends, discover others’ farts, follow friends and celebs, comment, like, rate, play, re-fart and so on.

Anonymous said...

Oh lol!!!
Do you believe you are always the best man for all the ladies? Are you a little lonely? With some abandonment issues, plus some huge commitment issues? Can't understand why any woman on earth wouldn't be thrilled to have you? Do you tell everyone you got your mama at home to take care of? I mean really, you want to look like a good son, right? When in reality you have a wife and half a dozen brats at home? Are you the real deal? I so want to chat you up? I just want to understand you. Make me understand please.

Anonymous said...

The Sex change Operation did not hold. The preenyiss broke forth through the flesh panel cod piece.

Anonymous said...

1. What started the relationship between smurfs and Gargamel?
2. Who visited or affected whose territory first?
3. How often, which smurfs, and what circumstances are there, where smurfs are clearly violating Gargamel's territorial borders?
4. What is the official superficial state of relations/politics between Gargamel and smurfs, and what's the context?
5. Does Gargamel ever succeed in successfully thwarting the smurfs in any way? How?

Anonymous said...

Alls I can truly attest to is the fact that I'm not as quick to react negatively.

Anonymous said...

I’m sipping a scummy pint of cloudy beer in the back of a trendy dive bar turned nightclub in the heart of the city’s heroin district. In front of me stand a gang of hippiesh grunge-punk types, who crowd around each other and collectively scoff at the smoking laws by sneaking puffs of “fuck-you,” reveling in their perceived rebellion as the haggard, staggering staff look on without the slightest concern.

The “DJ” is keystroking a selection of MP3s off his MacBook, making a mix that sounds like he took a hatchet to a collection of yesteryear billboard hits, from DMX to Dolly Parton, but mashed up with a jittery techno backbeat.

“So… this is a hipster party?” I ask the girl sitting next to me. She’s wearing big dangling earrings, an American Apparel V-neck tee, non-prescription eyeglasses and an inappropriately warm wool coat.

“Yeah, just look around you, 99 percent of the people here are total hipsters!”

“Are you a hipster?”

“Fuck no,” she says, laughing back the last of her glass before she hops off to the dance floor.

Anonymous said...

its works perfectly and help me in the bed and thanks GOD I got a product like this that save from shameful night with my partner. anybody could realize the situation, how a person feel when he failed to make his partner enjoy. its really really a very bad experience and only frustration. But now this natural booster come in this cute and nice form to use easily. but the only drawback I found is I got huge thirsty when I were in full dose. but when the consultant from the company make the suitable doos for me, it work like a magic and the natural supplement of few vitamins is worth

Anonymous said...

It is unfortunate to meet a person, and after several years of bonding, fall in love with that person because in my experience this is a dead end road that leads to heart break. There have been many young men I have loved, but none more fiercely than my ex-husband. He was a man that I saw one day and decided I would marry. Of course I had to win him over, eventually after months of pursuing. We were married 10 years and it was he that divorced me, now I know what you're thinking; "what did you do?" It was a normal day in April and a week before our daughters 6th birthday he turned to me and asked for a divorce. He gave me 3 reasons: I was too passionate, I wanted sex too often and he needed to find a petite Asian to fulfill his desires. We have been divorced for three years now and he never found a petite Asian, but he did end up reenlisting in the Army. I'm not angry anymore.

Anonymous said...

So I'm 26, muscular man and in pretty decent shape. Great job,I love it. I look forward to work daily. Get paid well. And am quite handsome as I have been told. Alas giving all these great things in my life I suffer. Not in body size but more in my penis size. I'm almost 8" long and just over 2.5"in diameter. My problem is I can't find condoms that fit properly. The only and I mean only condoms I have found to even remotely fit properly are Trojans. And I hate Trojans aside from the stink most of them is like throwing a trash bag over my dick. Can't feel anything. So my question, and hope, is does anyone know of a U.S. company that makes custom size condoms? I know there are quite a few overseas but most won't ahip to the U.S. the reason why this is such a problem for me is I'm very sexually active. At least 1 new partner every couple of weeks. I use the One the legend condoms right now as they are the only ones that feel ok and don't conpletly strangle me but the problem is I take awhile to get off. Both with and without a condom. More often then not I can't stay hard with the condom on for more then 15mins. And that cause both problems for me and makes my partners feel inadequate at times. I really need some help. Bad. I'm sick of having to either try and bust as fast as I can or with my partners both go get tested to show we are both clean to stop using them. Then everything is perfectly fine. I can go as long as want and not worry bout going soft. Please if there is anyone out there who suffers from this same problem or know someone who does and have a recommendation of a good condom that isn't a damn Trojan please please let me know. I employee you to let me know. It really is more of a curse having a penis this size. You may say oh yeah right you would kill for this size. Well you haven't lived with it. It's actually quite horrible at times. I like to make my partners get off and please them before pleasing myself. And when I can't last longer then 15 mins with a condom on it makes it very difficult to do so with penetration. Orally yeah no issue. I enjoy it but I like to get my partners off in multiple ways not just one. Please help

Anonymous said...

I have been married well over 20 years. Always Faithful and loving. A few years ago the wife had a couple mental break downs and physical issues. We now haven't had sex In a couple years. I have asked just for a woman for some sex. She won't allow It. I am really starting to resent this and really want some sex. I so want to eat some younger pussy and receive a blow job. I don't know what the heck to do. Any good Ideas? I don't really need or want any low life answers.

Anonymous said...

While we don't expect any bite incidents, please remember that ferrets may bite when they think you are trying to play with them, so please be prepared.

Anonymous said...

I haven't been able to laugh in ages. I had forgotten my laugh. It was so lost to me to the point that I was surprised by the abrasive rattle of my own snort.

Anonymous said...

A mystical office creature, the urban equivalent of bigfoot, that is able to draw a paycheck without being seen. It survives by abusing "work from home" policies. This creature is generally shy, but can become agitated when called out on their lack of work output or general demotivational attitude. The Slacksquatch's diet consists mainly of Diet Coke and uncrushed potato chips, but they have been seen consuming the occasional Meat Mountain.

Anonymous said...

Kødbolle er en bolle af kød.
Typisk lavet på svinekød eller hest hvis man er svensker.
Den mest almindelige kødbolle er den danske frikadelle, og den mest oversete kødbolle er den lige så danske Skipper Labskovs

Anonymous said...

A group of friends and I decided to indulge ourselves in Eugene's finest selection of bourbon and seafood on Sunday, January 4th. Before leaving I caught the hypnotic, spectacled eyes and smile of a beautiful Woman sitting in the middle of the restaurant. I hope that if this message finds you, that it does find you well. You've been on my mind since leaving Choadsters that night. Your white tee definitely complimented the gorgeous ink on your left arm.

Anonymous said...

I found this in the company closet. No one has claimed it or wants it. Come get it. It's at 1257 Goon Street # 2 upstairs. It's of two people looking into a dark abyss which represents their meaningless life. Of course, it's open to interpretation.

Anonymous said...

It seems a curious choice for someone to say “I’m based out of New York” to mean merely “I live in New York.” I suppose that the use of based in this context could represent an effort to distance oneself from the place lived in: I’m based in New York for now, but my real home is in Alabama.

Anonymous said...

A guy walks by a girl on a couch with her cat. They start talking:
Girl: hey, do you want to pet my pussy?
Guy: sure, if you get the damn cat out of the way!

Anonymous said...

the first word of any answer given by a know-it-all douchebag, said to give the effect that they were already speaking when you asked your question or requested their opinion, in order to feign superiority or to imply that they knew what you wanted to know before you inquired.

Man: "What sort of food does that restaurant serve?"
Know-It-All Douche: "So, they have asian fusion and cali fresh, not that you would know what those things aaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrre..."

Man: "Is that new game any good?"
Know-It-All Douche: "So, this game was developed on the new platform, not that you could understaaaaaaaaaaaaand it..."

Anonymous said...

What I assume was my inner God started to show me strange visions of the letter C which I could not quite figure out.

Anonymous said...

Frank: What's that smell?!
Nick: You just farted
Frank: Oh I must of forgarted

Anonymous said...

The old codger cut off the top of his hat so that he could free up and proudly display his cloud hair.

Anonymous said...

This is only a wonderful mental therapy, pure virgin relaxation for the brain is the sound of nature.

Anonymous said...

Lakschmee from THE KARMIS.

Anonymous said...

Of course all was innocent betwixt frat boys Mohandas & Hermie. Who hasn't dipped their toes in Vaseline? Also, sexy Eleanor Roosevelt was not a muff-diver! She was dutiful wife to her cousin & fretful mother to their inbred brood. Rock Hudson had a wife for the love of God! Jim Nabors played a marine. Abe Lincoln shared a bed with Joshua Speed for five years merely for warmth. Kenyan Obama owns a lifetime membership to Chicago's private Man's Country bath house. These things mean nothing!!!

Anonymous said...

CRACKERS says, "FORGET THAT VASELINE! HOLD THOSE CHICKENS!"

Anonymous said...

I'm not looking for love or man of my dreams I'm looking for that rock hard 8" meat stick with a tatto that says monster! I'm Lindsay 21 and Im looking for that certain kinda man to come fist my pussy and make me shower him with my come as he smacks my oiled ass!

If you think you can handle this and you don't have any sickness on your dick with no beer gut straight teeth and over 5'9" then hit me up ;) don't be shy to bit!

Anonymous said...

I was working in the pet section at walmart when you caught my attention. I then walked to the cat snacks area to work and you followed me. You stood in the isle for a few minutes looking at things but I felt like you were trying to think of something to say. At that point you look at me and finally asked "Do you frequent local black metal concerts?" I said that I use to and you said you recognized me, possibly from a Tormentium concert. It has been a while since I went to a concert at all at that point and if I had time that night I would have told you about some of the concerts I use to go to. You then went around the corner then returned asking if you could steal my cart. I said of course and you said "thanks for letting me steal you cart"
I would like to meet you while I am not working and talk about music. Until recently I haven't had time or money to go to concerts and I would like to meet someone that can help me reconnect to Choadston's amazing music scene.

Anonymous said...

Just want to find someone who loves massages. I can do your back , legs, belly and whatever else you want worked on. This can be a straight massage, pro style or sexy...where you take my hand and guide it to where you want me to rub. It's all up to you. I'm a tall, athletic very chill guy. I have a great job, house and car, just a little bored and lonely today and figured hey let's hang out in front of my fireplace and do this.

Anonymous said...

Looking for a white , clean pure white light skinned male. 6 ft tall male. A man. I'd like to exchange body heat for a weekend of laying naked together. I'd like to meet a male who can actively make love without any sexual disfunction in life or bed. Fully functioning. Sexually mature enough to go on a date, spoodle oneself , and then have a conversation with me afterwards that age level is a must. Not open for the dirty adult shop replies, I'm looking for a weekly pro sexual relationship. Someone mentally physically open to being a partner.

Anonymous said...

NO Ray Johns

Anonymous said...

Looking for a dream. Someone to chat with an dream about..... I'm slim, 5ft 9in, blonde long and strait to my butt. Fashonable, green eyes. I enjoy intamate conversations, not foul mouth. Free spirit, not pushy or rude guys.

Anonymous said...

I want someone to Rick my world. Take me hard and rough. Someone who is hung, big (tall and chubby), who loves going down for hours. I am 25 tall and a bbw. I want someone to worship my body. This is all about me. I want you to go down on me for ages and then Fuck me hard and rough. Super hot and passionate. A plus if you just start going at it as soon as I walk through your door. Must be able to host. Condoms are a must as well as no anal. Email me if you are interested with height, body type and age. Please be under 42.

Xoxo

Anonymous said...

There is no such thing as aliens on Earth, or Bigfoot or "reptilians." There is no such thing as psychic powers, ability to communicate with the dead, and no remote viewers. Crop circles are made by people only - not aliens from another planet. No one is telekinetic. No one can read or control anyone else's mind. Tarot card readers and astrologers and palm readers are con artists and fakes. No one is pyrokinetic, no one can transform elements with their mind. No one is ever abducted by aliens.
No one is a witch with magical powers. Anyone who really believes any of this stuff has something wrong with their mind.

Anonymous said...

Late January (mid-winter). Sunshine and wearing shorts...hiking Spencer's butte yesterday afternoon with friends...amazing panoramic view 10 minutes drive out of town. Friendly smiling people going up and coming down and on top. The coast is an hour away if I want to go. The mountains are an hour away if I want to go. Hot springs! Good to great music and performance art on a daily basis. Wineries, acting and dance classes, pubs and sports bars and seedy dives. Beer and cider crafted right here in town. A university and community college. The list could go on. Out of damn near every city and state in this country, Eugene stands out well above as far as open minded progressive people. It's a small city. Not gonna provide you with the endless maze. Cultural diversity could use a nudge. But then again, having been to damn near every general pocket in the U.S. I've heard the same consistent complaint. The "this shithole" and "these people" complaint. And then you see others who don't complain and aren't dissatistified with what's around them. Even when they live in the real shitholes. What you realize is that a person decides to be happy or decides to be a victim. Pessimism, skepticism, and negative criticism are optional. If you're looking for what's wrong you will find it. And you have. Your bias shapes your experience. It isn't, like you say with that ever American cliche, "rocket science". Speaking of culture, what are you doing to change the culture here? Probably absolutely nothing. Oh the depth...

Anonymous said...

Therefore, anyone who professes to believe in any GOD is insane. So a GOD BELIEVER is just as INSANE and they have something WRONG with their mind. Unless however they don't believe in a GOD and are just using it THE GOD as a tool to dominate and control others.To get power over other people.

Anonymous said...

I'm a 48 yr old artist looking for a lady who's also into art. Someone who's laid back, easy going and enjoys light use of "herb" ( which I love to share ) and wine. A lady who's comfortable with nudity or an avid nudist would be a plus. I'm also into trading non-sexual nude massage and would LOVE to find a lady who is into receiving or trading. I'm health minded and love to talk. Very open minded. I'm in outside sales and in the Eugene area a few times a month. Have some free time in the area and would like to share with a lady friend who's at least 35 yrs old ( no age limit! :-) A hippie type would be ideal!

Anonymous said...

Hi. We are a married couple who is seeking someone to come hang out at our house and play some beer pong. We are 31 (her) and 28 (him) along with our 21 year old niece who is engaged. WE ARE NOT LOOKING FOR ANYTHING MORE THAN JUST BEING FRIENDS. If you want more, than keep looking because we are happily married. We are not 420 friendly because he is allergic to it and we have cats. We are looking for someone to come hang out tonight. You are more than welcome to crash on our couch afterwards until morning (we don't like drunk drivers). Please message back if interested.

Anonymous said...

You are a sexy ethnic woman that was at Starbucks this afternoon with a friend. I sat near by for a while but moved because I couldn't keep my eyes off your small breasts and didn't want to make you uncomfortable.

Can you tell me where this was and where I was sitting?

Anonymous said...

Man #1: Sarah and I went to Disneyland for our honeymoon.
Man #2: Cool, what did you guys do?
Man #1: Well, I rode the rides, and then I took her inside the bathroom and I rode her! Some guy in a Goofy costume was watching us. Dude, we turned Disneyland into Jizzneyland!

Anonymous said...

and thar she blows - you know they had a major setback getting this thing put together ( still on land) due to the whole metric/ "standard" measures conflict. You would think that A SPACE STATION's builders would have that part covered, but that damn "standard" system with it's hog's heads and stones and wtf-have you will never die. not till the cylons come back at least.