Friday, December 02, 2011



Robert Archambeau, Lake Forest College, Chicago

Essays in Criticism

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

Topic: TRUMAN BENTLEY JR., is a better looking woman than Tori Spelling.

Discuss.

Anonymous said...

I think he needs to add a twist of STOCKARD CHANNING, or maybe some WENDY O-WILLIAMS.

Anonymous said...

To be the most sensous he should have his nose enlarged and his skin tatooed green to look like the WITCH from the original WIZARD OF OZ. I really could DO HER, but not as CORY from the MAXWELL HOUSE coffee commercial.

Anonymous said...

Maybe he should pass out FREEZE POPS to everyone on a hot summer afternoon around the time of the afternoon cable TV cartoon line up. Then quietly sneak off upstairs to return dressed in his mother's prom dress yelling, I'M SCARLETT O'HARA! I'M SCARLETT O'HARA! like H20 WATERHEAD JUNI did all the time.

Anonymous said...

Maybe he should pass out FREEZE POPS to everyone on a hot summer afternoon around the time of the afternoon cable TV cartoon line up. Then quietly sneak off upstairs to return dressed in his mother's prom dress yelling, I'M SCARLETT O'HARA! I'M SCARLETT O'HARA! like H20 WATERHEAD JUNI did all the time.

Anonymous said...

CORA not CORY

Anonymous said...

Remember when kids would punch you in the shoulder with a weird fist raised knuckle and call it a FROG. Well H20 WATERHEAD JUNI would trap his brothers on the trampoline and FROG them not in the shoulder but somewhere else while chanting COMFY COZY! COMFY COZY! This is why he didn't get a date until he was 43 years old. Now he dresses like CAPTAIN KANGAROO and turned into an old PEA PAW. Feeling powerful like a REAL CATHOLIC MAN having five kids. His wife got those ANCHOR CHILDREN to lock in his check. No more honeymoon frolic for him. Standing around in Santa Claus suspenders he PIDDLES around in the garden shed GETTING THINGS DONE like repairing lamp cords. Dissatisfied with his work the wife says, WHY DON'T "WE" JUST PAY SOMEONE TO FIX THAT BEFORE YOU TEAR IT UP. Reduced to OBEYING her, she is like THE QUEEN OF HEARTS from the Walt Disney cartoon ALICE IN WONDERLAND. Juni better say YES, otherwise he'll have to take a NERVE PILL before the day is over.

Anonymous said...

WENDY O-WILLIAMS???

W E N D Y ... O - W I L L I A M S ? ! ? ! ?

I laughed at that one.

TRUMAN BENTLEY JR, is a MUCH better looking woman than WENDY O-WILLIAMS any day of the week. Better body for sure.

Anonymous said...

Listen to WENDY O WILLIAMS sing THE PLASMATICS' song
TEST TUBE BABY.